Today I turned in a five-page draft of a twelve-to-fourteen-page research paper that’s due in full in twelve days (no, I definitely wasn’t up until 3 am last night working on it), then ran to the dress rehearsal for the play I’m performing in tomorrow & Saturday. Tomorrow I have a project due at 5. Sunday, a research paper at midnight. Next week, another paper. Then finals and two more final projects and an organ recital.
This is, honestly, the first time I have truly not enjoyed college and wished to be home more than anything, but it is also, more than usual, a time when I am glad I am here, that I chose this life. It’s really rough right now, but if I had not come, I would not have found the career I want to pursue, the friends I hope to keep forever. My faith would not have been tested in the way it has been (here I am on the other side, in the midst of the waters, still clinging to the cross). I would not have read Confessions in English 104, or presented a paper in Georgia, or driven ten hours round trip overnight, or sung “Now Rest Beneath Night’s Shadow” in the day chapel.
It’s hard. God’s good.
That’s not all I have to say, of course, because I am a prolific thinker of thoughts. But it’s probably all I have time for. I have that project due tomorrow, you know.
I’ll be back to talk about summer goals and the things I’ve done in my second year of college and sundry. If you’re lucky, I’ll review Shadow and Bone season 2.
But for now, I just want to say that even though I don’t know what would have happened (and no one knows what would have happened, nor should we) if I had done something else, I am meant to be here. Wherever you are, you can find good things, and you can do God’s will.
God is everywhere, friends. Even in the deadlines.
when through the woods 
Hi! 🙂
Maya, I so needed to read this. Amen. God is good, and we are meant to be where we are though times may turn grueling.
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Here you- yep the time when you don’t “enjoy college”: the hardest parts
But, still worth it——where you would be without going. Part of my spiritual journey was developed through college, did things outside my comfort zone (ones that were worth it), all of those student activities you did, etc
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Amen and amen. Thanks for this, Maya ❤
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I’m in the same boat as you–drowning in the end of the semester–and this was such a good reminder that a) God is faithful and b) this is truly a joyful time of life, despite the sorrows!
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